You tell your loved one that you love them all the time, but have you stopped to consider that maybe you’re communicating it all wrong and not the way your significant other wants to receive it? Love can get lost in translation. Especially when you both are speaking a different love language.
What Are the 5 Love Languages?
“Love languages” are broken down into five different ways of receiving and expressing love through receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. Gary Chapman, Ph.D. created the concept of love languages. He describes five unique ways to communicate love. By understanding your partners love language and how to better communicate with each other, you can support each other and grow. Here are the five love languages described by Chapman.
1. Words of Affirmation
Verbal acknowledgments of affection include words of appreciation, verbal encouragement (and nonverbal as texting and social media can be engaging), compliments, and “I love you’s.” These are all ways to show affection and give appreciation to the ones you love. Hearing your significant other giving you words of affirmation reignites a spark inside oneself.
2. Quality Time
Someone who always wants to hang out or spend quality time with you is great. Being fully present and a good listener for your partner shows that you love them. Make sure to get rid of the phone screens and distracting elements in today’s busy world and just focus on the one you love. Spending quality one-on-one time should be cherished, and lovers shouldn’t take the time they have together for granted.
3. Acts of Services
An act of service can include anything from getting someone soup when they’re sick, to making coffee for your significant other in the morning, picking up dry cleaning, or just making the other person’s life a little bit easier. Who doesn’t like to know that the other person in your life is thinking about you and willing to go out of their way to help you out? These acts of service are marks of love and, as the saying goes, actions speak louder than words.
Gifts are straightforward and to the point. But, it’s not about how much money you spend, it’s about the meaning behind the gift, as they’re visual symbols of love. The time you take to deliberately pick out a gift and the time you spend considering what the other person would like goes to show that you truly care. The key is to give meaningful things.
Kissing, cuddling on the couch, holding hands, and sex are all physical signs of affection. This kind of intimacy is a powerful emotional connector and very affirming for people. This love language has deep roots that can even go back as far as childhood. Many people feel warmth and comfort from being held, kissed, or touched. When people consent to it, the feeling of physical touch is a powerful love language.