It can be devastating to go through a breakup and when a relationship is over it can totally throw your life off-balance. Your sense of self is numb, and for many people, the first impulse is to try and mend what is broken. Yet, it’s sometimes the case that your beloved has moved on and it’s impossible to reconnect. There may be a sense of hopelessness and you may feel powerless. You’ve become invisible and unrecognizable to yourself. You are consumed by thoughts of the past and you’re in need of some help. Here’s a list of strategies for reclaiming your emotional equilibrium, your self-worth, and your vitality to get back to your normal self.
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Your distress can be increased if you prematurely distance yourself from your former loved one. Living in the moment, for the time being, is exactly where you want to be. Picture yourself moving on. This means not staying stuck in a rut. Instead of constantly thinking about doing stuff harder, faster, stronger, longer, better, etc., think about a new life strategy. And, if you’re meant to be with your beloved, regardless, you’ll be in a better position to make it happen.
Your Reactions are Normal
We’re only human, and we’re wired to feel pain when rejected. A cascade of chemicals is triggered once we go through a break-up and this can leave us with feelings of depression and loneliness. But, it’s important to keep in mind that this is a normal response. You are not crazy.
Handle Your Grief
Fearing that the breakup will be too painful is normal especially if you’ve lost someone precious to you. Repressing grief can only result in worse anxiety, obsession, depression, a suppressed immune system, and despair. You will continue to feel powerless and stuck if you avoid grief.
Grief is a Necessary Reaction to Loss
Anger, fear, sadness, and feeling of disbelief are all related to grief. Grief also contributes to physical symptoms of tension, emptiness, changes in appetite, sleep, and lack of attention. This is all painful but it’s important to keep in mind that it’s all a byproduct of investing in meaningful relationships.
Grieving is a Healing Process
Over time grief will turn from constantly thinking about how to make yourself worthy for him or her, but instead, turn to thoughts of how to reclaim your own self-worth. Grieving is what sets you free, and the process of grieving lets you get out of your head and get more in touch with your body and feelings. It’s important to be aware that being stuck inside your own head isn’t the best thing for your body.
Allow Feelings to Flow
Make sure to attend to your body’s response to emotional triggers. Stay aware of your body and describe your physical sensations to yourself. This awareness will help you to observe what emotion you’re experiencing and how to calm yourself. Riding the wave and going with the flow can bring you back to yourself.